I used to get a kick out of watching shows like Bridezilla, but now I really just cringe. IMO, if you're not sure about why you should hire a wedding planner, just watch a full episode or two... most times, the fits, tears and anger aren't even worth it and could've been prevented.
After watching one recent episode where a bride flipped out on her 'maids and was uncontrollably demanding (wait, isn't that every episode?!), it inspired me to write a post about how to avoid being the 'zilla' at your wedding!
1. Newly engaged? Great! Now try and keep it that way. Don't start calling everyone in your phone's contact list and invite them to be a member of your bridal party. I know, it's extremely difficult to NOT do it, but I'm telling you... Look, you just got engaged! Enjoy it! Don't stress yourself out about who's going to walk down the aisle with who, etc. Ride out the happy feeling of being engaged for a while until you can really think clearly about who should stand by your sides on your special day. What we tend to see are brides who've asked their family/friends to be a part of their bridal party (BP) so early on and regret having done so. Sometimes friendships are broken and family members move so it's appropriate to wait until around 6-8 months before the big day.
2. Don't hold back...everything. It's really important that everyone's on the same page. Just like how you're no expert bride/groom, you should give your BP some slack because they may not be experts in this either. Remind your 'maids to keep the lines of communication open and that this a fun time for everyone involved! Want them to get their dresses/suits by a certain date, let them know! Instead of saying, "well it'd be great if you all could get them done as quickly as possible" say this: "It'd be really helpful if you all could plan to get your suits and dresses before November 22, 2010. Let me know if you think that'll be a problem." Why you ask? Because what is considered 'quick' is totally subjective...
3. Keep your expectations attainable. I know I personally have that problem where my expectations are sometimes too high (or unattainable!) and it gets me down when I don't reach them the way I had anticipated. My grandfather used to joke around and say "Keep your expectations low. That way you not only reach them, but if they don't work out, it's not so bad." Yes, it's a joke, but still resonates positively with me. Don't expect your MOH, mother or significant other (SO) to know exactly how to do something, when to do it and where to have it. If you simply expect them to be there for you and be supportive, you're less likely to get upset over many details.
4. It's not just about you. Forgive me, but yes...I said it (hey, I was once a bride not too long ago so I can say this! :P). This is a special time that's not just about you, but it's about your significant other, family and friends that have played important roles in your lives. Your reception, when boiled down, is basically a party you both (or your families) are throwing to celebrate your union with those you love and care about. Any good party host would want their guests to have a fabulous time, so why wouldn't you? Remember, happy guests usually = a great party, so be considerate! What bride isn't gushing when she hears, "OMG Your wedding was amazing! Thank you for having us a part of it!"
5. Have a back up plan. You already know Mother Nature loves surprises so don't think everything will hold back just for your special day! For instance, it's totally okay that you really want a beach wedding! Just be sure you come to terms that there's always a chance for not-so-good weather so have a "Plan B" (i.e. consider a tent or inside location)!
6. Chill out! Make time for other things than just "wedding stuff." Don't try and plan your entire wedding in a day -- it'll only frustrate you and make you (and others) anxious and on edge. Go for a bike ride, read a book, sit out by the pool. Spend 20 minutes of quiet time with your pet or SO. Or just close your eyes and concentrate on breathing in slowly and deeply and releasing that air nice and slowly. When you make time for yourself to relax, the boat seems to rock less...so to speak. ;)
Warmest love and wishes,
After watching one recent episode where a bride flipped out on her 'maids and was uncontrollably demanding (wait, isn't that every episode?!), it inspired me to write a post about how to avoid being the 'zilla' at your wedding!
1. Newly engaged? Great! Now try and keep it that way. Don't start calling everyone in your phone's contact list and invite them to be a member of your bridal party. I know, it's extremely difficult to NOT do it, but I'm telling you... Look, you just got engaged! Enjoy it! Don't stress yourself out about who's going to walk down the aisle with who, etc. Ride out the happy feeling of being engaged for a while until you can really think clearly about who should stand by your sides on your special day. What we tend to see are brides who've asked their family/friends to be a part of their bridal party (BP) so early on and regret having done so. Sometimes friendships are broken and family members move so it's appropriate to wait until around 6-8 months before the big day.
2. Don't hold back...everything. It's really important that everyone's on the same page. Just like how you're no expert bride/groom, you should give your BP some slack because they may not be experts in this either. Remind your 'maids to keep the lines of communication open and that this a fun time for everyone involved! Want them to get their dresses/suits by a certain date, let them know! Instead of saying, "well it'd be great if you all could get them done as quickly as possible" say this: "It'd be really helpful if you all could plan to get your suits and dresses before November 22, 2010. Let me know if you think that'll be a problem." Why you ask? Because what is considered 'quick' is totally subjective...
3. Keep your expectations attainable. I know I personally have that problem where my expectations are sometimes too high (or unattainable!) and it gets me down when I don't reach them the way I had anticipated. My grandfather used to joke around and say "Keep your expectations low. That way you not only reach them, but if they don't work out, it's not so bad." Yes, it's a joke, but still resonates positively with me. Don't expect your MOH, mother or significant other (SO) to know exactly how to do something, when to do it and where to have it. If you simply expect them to be there for you and be supportive, you're less likely to get upset over many details.
4. It's not just about you. Forgive me, but yes...I said it (hey, I was once a bride not too long ago so I can say this! :P). This is a special time that's not just about you, but it's about your significant other, family and friends that have played important roles in your lives. Your reception, when boiled down, is basically a party you both (or your families) are throwing to celebrate your union with those you love and care about. Any good party host would want their guests to have a fabulous time, so why wouldn't you? Remember, happy guests usually = a great party, so be considerate! What bride isn't gushing when she hears, "OMG Your wedding was amazing! Thank you for having us a part of it!"
5. Have a back up plan. You already know Mother Nature loves surprises so don't think everything will hold back just for your special day! For instance, it's totally okay that you really want a beach wedding! Just be sure you come to terms that there's always a chance for not-so-good weather so have a "Plan B" (i.e. consider a tent or inside location)!
6. Chill out! Make time for other things than just "wedding stuff." Don't try and plan your entire wedding in a day -- it'll only frustrate you and make you (and others) anxious and on edge. Go for a bike ride, read a book, sit out by the pool. Spend 20 minutes of quiet time with your pet or SO. Or just close your eyes and concentrate on breathing in slowly and deeply and releasing that air nice and slowly. When you make time for yourself to relax, the boat seems to rock less...so to speak. ;)
We want you to feel a calm sense of happiness and euphoria and feel like this couple does!
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| by Alena Kratochvilova |
Have tips of your own?
Have a particular frustration/question you'd like some help on? Share and post them here!
Warmest love and wishes,
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"No limits. Just high standards."
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Gabriela is the partner and certified wedding/special event consultant for No Limit Events LLC as well as the main writer for the company blog, No Limit Events LLC: Bloggin’ It. She enjoys sharing fun and unique wedding ideas, which include helpful wedding and party related posts, inspirational photos and advice for those planning special celebrations. Gabriela lives in New Jersey with her husband and business partner, Justin, and their 2 lovable cats. Planning a luxurious wedding or special party? Please visit her blog and website for specials and helpful advice.
These are great! Wish I had the list about 12 years ago. :)
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